Franchise Shamed By Defenseman's Actions

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Subject: Franchise Shamed By Defenseman's Actions Sat Feb 21, 2009 11:01 pm

Blues faithful and NHL fans across the globe are in an outrage today after a supposedly top secret injury report on Andy Wozniewski was leaked to the press earlier in the week. Apparently the "lower body injury" described by team trainers and medical staff carried lewd and inappropriate undertones and this document appears to have the defenseman diagnosed with a "stained back injury".

http://www.sdhl.org/files/SDHL-TeamLines.html#Blues

Team officials claim to have no knowledge of the reports, and the official word is only team doctors were aware of the true nature of Wozniewski's injury.

Further digging by bloggers and press revealed receipts linking Andy to a hotel party in East St. Louis also attended by Shayne Corson and Darcy Tucker. Rumors of Jiri Tlustly's involvement have not been confirmed as of yet, but he is suspected of attending the event. Blueliner Wozniewski has been suspended without pay indefinetely.

Team President and General Manager Ian Van Halsema was in a fury when the report came across his desk. "I don't care if it's a lower back stain, a face stain, chest stain, I don't care where the stain is. Such actions are completely unacceptable in this organization. You would expect this sort of stuff from some of the other general managers in the league, but not the players. It's just disgusting".

Wozniewsky was unavailable for comment, but was last seen wearing a Semin jersey and attempting to buy a house in San Fransisco.